Movie Review: Robin Hood (2010)

Robin Hood (2010) directed by Ridley Scott

Robin Longstrides (Russell Crowe) is fighting his way home with King Richard the Lion-Heart (Danny Huston) from the Crusades. Robin is a bit of loose fellow, gambling and drinking, which lands him in the stocks while the English are besieging a French coastal castle. During the attack, Richard is killed, which causes some chaos among the English. Robin and his friends are busted out of the stocks and race to the coast. On their way, they run across the king's horse, which one of the knights was taking to London because it is carrying the royal crown. Robin figures he can use the crown to barter his way back home. He also promises the dying knight, Sir Robert Loxley (Douglas Hodge), to return the knight's sword to his father, Sir Walter Loxley (Max von Sydow), in Nottingham. 

Meanwhile, Prince John (Oscar Isaac) has been fooling around figuratively and literally as the head of state. He's let Crusade taxes be collected by any means necessary (including a vile henchman played by Mark Strong) and is sleeping with a French noblewoman. His mother (Eileen Atkins) pesters him to do the right thing but she has little influence. 

Also meanwhile, Sir Robert's wife, Marion (Cate Blanchett), has been struggling under the oppression of John's lackeys. Nottingham has almost no protection since the able-bodied men have gone to Crusade. The male children have formed a group of bandits in the forest, raiding anyone they want, including the Loxleys. The sheriff has his eyes on her, another source of annoyance.

Robin winds up passing himself off as a knight in London (luckily, it's been ten years since anyone has seen him). He goes to Nottingham to return the sword and the father convinces Robin to pass himself off as Sir Robert, so he can help with all the local problems. Marion reluctantly agrees. They get embroiled in all sorts of political complications as John seeks to expand his power, keep the barons in check, and repulse any French advances (except for those from his wife).

The story has a lot of different plots. The switching between narratives is a bit haphazard. The children in the woods start off like bad guys (they even have horrible masks reminiscent of Leatherface) but turn out to be comic-relief allies (reminiscent of the Ewoks). Robin's assumption of the knight's person and subsequent wooing of Marion is reminiscent of The Return of Martin Guerre. The opening assault on the French castle reminded me of both Gladiator and Monty Python and the Holy Grail. The overall tone is bleak and oppressive including occasional scenes of "merriness" by the Merry Men (who are never called that) which are more ale-soaked and vulgar than light-hearted and fun. Some moments of comedy work well, some seem unintentional. Then there's the torture scene with Robin menacing and injuring someone while a crowd watches. The film has too many elements that don't fit together as a story, let alone as a Robin Hood story. The whole experience is disjointed and unsatisfying.

Not recommended--this is the worst Robin Hood film I've seen, and I've seen Robin Hood: Men in Tights.