Movie Review: Troll (2022)

Troll (2022) co-written and directed by Roar Uthaug

In the tradition of King Kong, Godzilla, Jaws, Jurassic Park, and Pacific Rim, Norwegian director Roar Uthaug presents a monster movie with a very Norwegian antagonist--a giant troll. The movie starts with paleontologist Nora (Ine Marie Wilmann) at a seashore dig, finally making a discovery. Meanwhile, a train project is blasting a tunnel through the Dovre Mountains. Protestors chant outside while the workers inspect the results of their latest explosion. Something starts coming out of the cave, forcing everyone to flee. The government's emergency center is able to get some amateur footage from the chaos which shows dirt and rocks flying everywhere. They also see mysterious foot-shaped craters leading away from the tunnel. They decide to bring in Nora as a scientific expert. She manages to spot a two-armed, bipedal creature in the amateur footage, which leads to all sorts of speculation. Nora expects the worst and is forced to go visit her father, a folklorist who has gone crazy. He clearly thinks it's a troll and is not shy about saying so. Soon enough, they discover the creature in the countryside. The troll is heading toward the capital, so it's up to the army and the plucky band of scientists to stop it from destroying everything.

The movie is a very entertaining yarn, following the standard plot beats in giant monster movies. The government is ineffective in its brute force efforts to stop the beast ("you're only making it mad," says the crazy father). The scientists slowly figure out more and more of what the audience already knows. The troll does follow some of its mythology, though not exactly, because "this is science!" Some things are very implausible, like the movie repeatedly blaming Christian missionaries for wiping out the troll population of Norway. Apparently unarmed missionaries can slaughter dozens or hundreds of trolls while the modern Norwegian military can't even scratch a lone troll. The troll's purpose for going to the capital is also fun but bonkers. The ending relies on a clever way to beat the beast rather than nuking it. The movie has a new setting for monster fighting with a monster that has plenty of folklore that's acknowledged throughout the film. The special effects are good and the performances are earnest enough for viewers to buy into the plot and have a good time.

Recommended if you like big monster movies.

Book Review: One-Punch Man Vols. 5 & 6 by One et al.

One-Punch Man Volume 5 story by One and art by Yusuke Murata

Saitama arrives at the city being devastated by the Sea King, who has been smashing down other heroes left and right. After a string of victories, the Sea King attacks a shelter where civilians are waiting for the heroes to do their thing. Saitama saves the day but a lot of people still have doubts about his heroics. This victory means a promotion in the Hero Association. How far will he go?

This is another fun volume even though it is mostly fighting. Saitama still faces the problems that his victories feel too easy and that the public does not like him. His loyal apprentice Genos keeps his spirits up even as he performs more heroically than Saitama.

Recommended.

One-Punch Man Volume 6 story by One and art by Yusuke Murata

All the S-Class heroes are summoned for a meeting at Hero Association HQ in City A. Saitama, who is still in a lower class, tags along with Genos to find out what is going on. The old lady prophet who has a 100% accurate record for predictions has died. She died from her latest prediction--a world-wide catastrophe in the next six months. Before the meeting can even end, an invasion comes from space and wipes out all of City A except for the HQ. A big battle ensues. Can this be the danger foretold by the old lady?

After some discussion about Saitama's presence at the meeting, this volume pretty quickly develops into a big fight with the aliens. A bunch of new heroes are introduced and don't die right away, so some new characters provide some interesting side situations while Saitama fights his way through the baddies on the space ship. The fight scenes are fun and the comedy still works well.

Recommended.

Fun in Minnesota 2022

While visiting family in Minnesota for Christmas, my daughter taught Grandpa the most valuable skill ever--making chocolate chip cookies!

Magic in the kitchen

The grandparents have some chickens who are living in the garage while the bleak midwinter had sub-zero temperatures. The kids enjoyed helping feed them, though it is unclear who is more scared of whom.

Chickens in a creepy light

Come here, little (or not so little) chicken

Getting closer (or is it the camera angle?)

Almost there

Jail birds?

The snow was bad but not too bad. My son was trained in plowing the driveway.

Learning to use heavy machinery

The snow was fun, too. The kids tried sledding but with the extra cold air, the snow wouldn't pack well enough for satisfying sledding.

Going out for a ride

Getting help from Granny

Working on a slope

The lake was frozen, so they cleared off a patch and smoothed it to make an ice rink.

Lake ice doesn't look pretty but is slippery

A lot of the cousins were new to ice skating. Tools were available to make it easier.

Working on balance

A hockey game broke out. Many tumbles happened on the ice. Hockey didn't last too long.

The biggest problem was knowing who was on which team

I might have scored on my own goal at one point. Whoops!

The forest had many trails in the snow--deer trails!

Hoof prints in the snow

The visit was good.

TV Review: The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022)

The Witcher: Blood Origin (2022) created by Declan de Barra and Lauren Schmidt Hissrich based on the novels by Andrzej Sapkowski

This tale purports to be the origin of the Witchers, going back a thousand years to the time when only elves lived on the Continent. They were separated into several kingdoms and many clans of warriors and mages. At one point, seven warriors come together to change the land because of oppressive rulers. The lead warrior is The Lark (Sophia Brown), a Raven Clan warrior who has turned away from sword art to be a bard. She meets Fjall (Laurence O'Fuarain), a Dog Clan warrior who was a favorite of Princess Merwyn (Mirren Mack). He is low-born and a clan member, so unfit to be with a princess (though that did not stop them from having an affair). When they are caught, she kicks him out with hopes of advancing her own political position. He wants to return to the capital and slay her. Lark wants to end the oppression of elves. Conveniently, Merwyn uses her kingdom's head mage, Balor (Lenny Henry), to wipe out all the other royalty from all the other kingdoms (and from her own kingdom too!) so that she can become empress, so there's only the one oppressor to slay. Balor uses his magic and an ancient monolith to summon a beast from another dimension, though he has much higher ambitions than being a lackey to the royals. As Fjall and Lark head south, they pick up a bunch of other warriors, including the last Ghost Clan warrior Scian (Michelle Yeoh) and a dwarf named Meldof (Francesca Mills) with a hammer named after her girlfriend. Being a dwarf, she has no clan (and I guess there's more than just elves around). 

The show runs for four episodes following the standard Witcher formula of being very graphic and a bit ridiculous. A lot of minor political plots are introduced that seem intended to create short-term intrigue or to justify a burst of sex and/or violence. The entertainment is in the action scenes, which are plentiful, and the characters interacting, which is less enjoyable than in the main show. The musical numbers with the bard are okay and more for plot resonance than for the comic value, as songs were in the main series. The plot twists are predictable and not terribly exciting. Parts of the writing felt like I was watching an RPG video game, going through pre-fabbed dialogue. The actors do a good job with no outstanding performances. They don't really explain the origin or Witchers but do explain some of the mythology (like where all the weird creatures come from).

Mildly recommend if you are already a Witcher fan. You don't need to see the original series to enjoy this, but I am not sure why you would want to. 

The show has a lot of graphic violence and some graphic sex, along with lots of swearing. So definitely teen and above, based on your family's discretion.

Currently (January 2023) only available streaming on Netflix.

Geocaching December 2022

The geocaching month started out with a find called Azlon I. The name refers to a sculpture nearby the cache location. Azlon is "the largest kinetic sculpture in Maryland" according to the write up. The hide is just across the street in a typical location.

Azlon I as viewed from the cache (with some zooming)

The view in the other direction

Happy 2021... is a geocache that's two years old and still an easy find at the Burtonsville Park and Ride.

The bus kiosks are kinda far from the cache

I had to perform some major bushwhacking to get to Scott's Cove, a geocache hidden in the middle of some well over-grown woods near a boat launch into the Rocky Gorge Reservoir. The container was quite large and I was able to off-load some happy meal toys the kids didn't want. Less junk at home!

The initial trail was easy

A stone ring near GZ

Tough bushwhacking

Pricky and Pokey is an even tougher cache to find--it's hidden up a tree! I went on a cold day so the pine sap was frozen and didn't stick to me. I did have a long way to go up and was nervous that the nest above might have some occupants. And there's the whole signing of the log while up a tree. I hope my signature was legible.

Can you spot the cache?

A more zoomed photo (cache is in lower right)

On a rainy day I looked for a quick cache, in this case HDCC One for the Road. It's at the T. Howard Duckett Community Center in Laurel, Maryland (hence the initials), at the main building. The Center is part of a much larger park that has a lot of other geocaches in it, so I will be back in nicer weather.

The community center

Not far from the Community Center is the mystery cache Andrea is loved. It's named after a tree carving of a heart with Andrea's and someone else's name inside. Putting that other name into certitude gives the final coordinates and a hint about the hide. The hike into the woods was nice, with the added bonus of seeing the Rocky Gorge Reservoir from the other shore.

A different tree full of graffiti

Some of the reservoir

On a trip to Annapolis, I found a geocache hidden in a Little Free Library. The hide, Outside the Box, was easy to find, making for a quick cache and dash! The library was impressive with its content and its construction.

Something for everyone!

HDCC Serena is back near the Howard Duckett Community Center, behind the tennis courts. The container was quite big. It needed to be to accommodate the "log!"

You can read "Dancing Gophers," right?

On the way back from Silver Spring, Maryland, I stopped at Pull a Tooth... which is next to an office building where I assume there is a dentist. The sign outside didn't list any.

At least finding the cache wasn't like pulling teeth!

Back at Howard Duckett, I found my first Letterbox cache. Letterboxing is similar to geocaching. With a letterbox, the seeker goes to a location and then has to follow a set of instructions (e.g., go twenty paces due north, turn west and continue another twenty paces, etc.) to get to the container. A letterbox container will have a stamp and ink pad so the finder can get a unique stamp in their own book. This cache, HDCC Horse Trail--Watch Your Step, leads the finders to a trailhead and says to walk 25-35 paces down the trail and find a concrete pile where the cache is hidden. I went about thirty paces and found a big concrete pile with no cache. After ten minutes of searching, I decided to give up. On the way out, I spotted a small pile of concrete about ten paces from the trailhead. Sure enough, the cache was there!

Wrong pile of concrete

The mystery cache umop-ap!sdn-03-u certain has a cryptic name. Solving the puzzle to get the coordinates is not too hard once you realize the trick being employed. I found the cache on a rainy day, leading me to a very big puddle right by the cache.

I managed to keep my feet dry!

Back at Howard Duckett, I found HDCC Cheap Rent, hidden at a location that looked obvious to my caching eyes.

The goal is in this picture

The multi-cache HDCC Let's Have Some Fun is also in Howard Duckett Park, off in another part of the woods. Cache finders have to calculate the final location based on playground equipment nearby. The find was slightly stressful due to walking right past a "Do Not Trespass" sign. This cool tree trunk was on the ground near the cache's hiding spot.

Near, not at, Ground Zero

Just outside of the park is Might be quick, might not . Enjoy the view. It was a quick find for me on a peaceful Sunday morning.

Another view of the reservoir

I went to Schooley Mill Park to find the mystery cache Schooley Balance Scale II. The puzzle is the old "weighing twelve balls" problem that you may have run into before. My experience with it was a long time ago and I need some help from the internet to remember the solution. The actual find at the park was easy.

Not very far into the woods

The month ends with only two days missing still. The year ends with 195 caches found during the year. Maybe next year I will break 200? 

The chart shows interesting information. Obviously I started the project in March and you can see the week in August where I had Covid and didn't go out. Clearly, I won't be able to fill every hole until 2024!

Book Review: Giraffes on Horseback Salad by J. Frank et al.

Giraffes on Horseback Salad: The Strangest Movie Never Made written by Josh Frank, adapted with Tim Heidecker, and illustrated by Manuela Pertega from screenplay notes and treatment by Salvador Dali for a Marx Brothers movie

A strange artistic friendship grew up between Harpo Marx of the Marx Brothers and Salvador Dali, the surrealist artist from Spain. Dali came to America during the Spanish Civil War and met Harpo. Dali had seen some of the Brothers' films and saw a lot of surrealist potential. He and Harpo worked on a screenplay treatment that was reject by the studio as being unfilmable and worse, unprofitable. Dali worked on the screenplay on and off over the years, mostly scribbling ideas and sketches in a notebook that was thought to be lost. Author Josh Frank hunted down the notebook in a European collection, had it translated, and worked up a script based on the notes and the treatment. He worked with an illustrator to make this graphic novel of the work. 

The book has some introductory material on the movie and the relationship between Harpo and Dali, then it presents the "movie" in 1940s style, with lobby cards and an intermission note. The main story is about a rich Spanish businessman who is engaged to a socialite (who is a bit of a harpy) but becomes fascinated one night by the Surrealist Woman. They are at a nightclub where the Surrealist Woman weaves her magical, incomprehensible visions into reality. The socialite is not amused and actively tries to distract the businessman and complains about the Surrealist Woman to her friends. Groucho and Chico Marx work for the Surrealist Woman and create the sort of antics that they always do. Harpo only appears as the businessman's shadow, occasionally bursting forth as his own person (but only very sporadically). The book is full of elaborate surreal imagery that the characters move through as the plot moves along.

I had a very mixed experience reading this book. The imagery was imaginative and elaborate, clearly unfilmable back in the day. Maybe this could have been made as an animated film in the 1940s or as a CGI extravaganza today. The plot was fairly simplistic, though that is typical of Marx Brothers films where the plot mostly serves to string together comedic set-pieces. Some of the comedy is taken directly from other films, which is disappointing. The conflict between reality (represented by the socialite) and surreality (represented by the Surreal Woman) was interesting but too self-aware. Surrealism works best when it does not comment on itself. Hearing about the friendship was the best part of the book, though it is a minor part of the book.

Not recommended unless you are interested in Dali or the Marx Brothers.

Movie Review: Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)

Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022) co-directed by Guillermo del Toro and Mark Gustafson, co-written by Guillermo del Toro and Patrick McHale based on the novel by Carlo Collodi

In an imaginative and original retelling, Guillermo del Toro moves the story of Pinocchio to the early twentieth century. Geppetto (David Bradley) is a distraught woodworker. His son Carlo was born in 1906 and his wife died before the story begins. Raising the boy alone, he has a happy life until World War I when a bomb drops on the town's church as he and Carlo are working on a new crucifix. The boy dies in the explosion, leaving Geppetto depressed to the point of disfunction. Several decades later, Sebastian J. Cricket (Ewan McGregor) moves into the tree by Carlo's grave on the day that Geppetto decides, in a moment of wrath, to cut down the tree (which was grown from a seed Carlo had). Geppetto hauls the trunk back to his workshop where he builds a puppet. Cricket sees some wood fairies following along. They come to Geppetto's house and give life to the puppet. Geppetto is overawed and delighted and terrified about the new boy. He gets back to work on the crucifix and tries to protect Pinocchio from a less-than-understanding society around him. If the superstitious reactions of the churchgoers were not enough, the local fascist ruler Podesta (Ron Perlman) takes too much interest in Pinocchio, hoping to groom him into an unkillable soldier (World War II is looming). Before Podesta can get his hands on Pinocchio, the wooden boy is charmed by Dottore (John Turturro), a carnival owner who thinks the animated puppet will revive the shows sagging sales.

The movie follows the familiar beats of the Pinocchio story while adding new material to give it a different focus. Pinocchio is not so much searching to become a real boy as he is learning about the world around him and finding his own identity. Geppetto at first sees him as a substitute Carlo; the fascists as a super-soldier in the making; the carnies as a meal ticket. Cricket tries to provide a moral conscience though he is more ineffective than in other versions of the story. Pinocchio slowly learns to be a good person and what it means to love others, to be his own person. The heart of the story is kept while the focus shifts.

Visually, the movie is amazing. The animation style is stop-motion, giving the characters and places more weight and resonance. The fairy world (including and interesting version of an afterlife) is imaginatively rendered in del Toro's distinctive style. Fascist Italy still has the beauty of the Italian countryside and towns while the veneer of oppression makes things darker (a favorite color palette for del Toro). He does not treat his world like it is children's entertainment. He has a mixture of wonder and danger, heart-ache and joy. So much detail is shown, making it a real world even if it is not entirely our world. 

The movie has songs but does not feel like a musical. Some fit naturally into the story, like the mother's lullaby that Geppetto sings to Carlo or the stage songs Pinocchio sings at the carnival. The songs are fun (especially Cricket's song which keeps getting interrupted) but not particularly memorable. They fit nicely with the world that del Toro crafts.

Highly recommended--this is not the same old Pinocchio that everyone is familiar with, it stands on its own as a fine and engaging story.