Book Review: The Grief of Dads by P. O'Hearn et al.

The Grief of Dads: Support and Hope for Catholic Fathers Navigating Child Loss by Patrick O'Hearn and Bryan Feger with Kelly and Ryan Breaux of Red Bird Ministries

This book provides a variety of tools to help a grieving father to deal with the loss of a child. After a brief overview of how men grieve (highlighting the difference between how men and women grieve) the book presents several examples of child loss from the Bible and the saints, from Adam and Eve losing Abel to Louis Martin, father of St. Therese of Lisieux who saw many of Therese's siblings die at a young age. Next, several contemporary fathers write about their losses, from miscarriages and stillborns to teen and adult children who have died. The final part of the book provides reflections, resources, and some assessment tools.

The authors recommend skipping around in the book, reading parts that are more relevant. Some of the stories of current fathers are hard reading with very tragic circumstances around the loss of their children. The one story of a suicide I had read in another book. It's helpful to know that other people have gone through what you've gone through, especially seeing that they came out okay. Many stories involve the father holding in emotions and reactions as a form of support for their wives, which may have short-term benefits but is not good in the bigger picture. The grieving process is long and hard, and often a different path for a father and for a mother.

Other parts are more practical in nature. The review of men's grieving process is good, filling in some detail for a topic that gets much less attention all around. The mental health assessments at the end are more geared toward discerning if professional therapy should be sought. The prayers and reflections are short and have a good variety, allowing the reader to find something that fits his temperament.

Recommended as a tool to help with grief. I found it helpful.