Dessert Beers 2023

I saw a bunch of dessert-themed beers at the store the other day, so I thought I would put together a custom six-pack. Usually, wines or aperitifs are the alcohols that fall into the "dessert" category. With the explosion of brewers across America (and indeed, across the world), plenty of experimental brews have been crafted. Sweet desserts may not be the first thing one thinks of when thinking of beer, or even pairing with beer. But heavier, darker beers make a nice contrast or can highlight complimentary flavors. One of my Wars of the Christmas Novelty Ales was a dessert edition, so here is a bit of a sequel. 

Here's my sampling:

Chocolate Volcano, a chocolate dessert stout by Heavy Seas Beer, Baltimore (9% alcohol by volume). The label says, "Chocolate Volcano blasts your tongue with a lava flow of velvety richness. Overflowing with decadent chocolate flavor, you better take cover. Chocolate Volcano erupts all year." They don't exaggerate about the velvety smoothness of this stout. The chocolate flavor competes with a smoky, ashy hint of bitterness (which must be the "volcano" part, right?). The flavor is strong enough to stand on its own--it certainly does not need to be paired with something else. I find it very tasty and satisfying on its own.

The PastryArchy: S'mores Dessert Stout, a chocolate dessert stout by DuClaw Brewing Company (7.5% alcohol by volume). The label states, "You don't have to go camping to enjoy this treat! Take in the notes of smooth chocolate, toasted marshmallow, and golden graham cracker as you sip and enjoy this tall glass of layered perfection." The velvety texture is even stronger in this stout, bordering on a syrupy consistency, with out the gross connotations that has. It's more like liquid chocolate than chocolate syrup. I can taste the smoke of the toasted marshmallow but not much (if any) graham cracker. But the chocolaty smoothness is so impressive that it might be overshadowing the rest of the intended flavors. This is one fabulous dessert beer.

Sticky Bun Stout by Harpoon Brewery (7.5% alcohol by volume). The label does not say very much: "brewed with natural flavors and real sticky buns from Flour Bakery Cafe, a collaboration to raise money for Camp Harbor View." Camp Harbor View is a Boston-area non-profit that provides a special summer camp for middle- and high-schoolers to develop leadership skills and have life-enriching experiences. This beer is a very mild stout with a sugary sweetness that takes the edge off almost completely. Only wisps of the smoky flavor are still there. It's a lighter, easier drink than the previous beer. I like the flavor a lot but not as much as the S'mores.

S'more Porter by Saranac Brewing Company (6.2% alcohol by volume). The label is all business: "It's like a liquid s'more with flavors of marshmallow and graham crackers aged on chocolate and vanilla." Apart from the weirdness of aging the crackers on the chocolate and the unconventional (but not unprecedented) use of the singular "s'more," the description is very accurate. I get the graham cracker flavor though someone burned that marshmallow (again, an unconventional but not unprecedented approach to making s'mores). The smokiness is a bit more bitter than in the stouts above. It does not have the velvety texture of the other ales. The potent flavor makes it a "stand alone" drink, not needing to be paired with anything in order to enjoy it or pull out the best flavors. I like this but don't love it.

The PastryArchy: Cookies and Cream White Stout by DuClaw Brewing Company (8.0% alcohol by volume). The label is supremely verbose: "Inspired by the iconic combination of chocolatey cookie crumbles dunked in delicious vanilla ice cream, we introduce you to 'The PastryArchy Cookies & Cream,' a roasty, full-bodied white stout infused with cookies and cream ice cream, lactose, & cacao for a beautiful golden beer. Made in collaboration with Maryland-based, family-owned creamery, Keyes Creamery in celebration of their tenth anniversary and three generations of a family dream." I've never seen a golden stout before. If I was blindfolded, I probably would not guess the color correctly. It does have that distinctive stout flavor. The chocolate flavor blends well with the stout. The cream flavor is a nice contrast, though the beer does not have the smoothness of other beers on this list. The delayed bitter aftertaste makes this taste less like a dessert beer, though it is tasty as a beer.

The Amazing Kosmicki's KBS Chocolate Cherry by Founders Brewing (11.6% alcohol by volume). This label has even more verbiage: "Our flagship bourbon barrel-aged imperial stout shows off its more romantic side with KBS Chocolate Cherry! The rich sweetness of chocolate and slight coffee bitterness blend perfectly with the brightness of cherry juice to bring you an alluring sensory experience perfect for cozying up with your sweetie." This beer seems like it should be a disaster on many fronts. I don't like coffee-flavored beers. I really don't like cherry flavor in beers, having experienced Kreik lambic in Belgium (fruit in general is not a good ingredient for beer). It pours thick like it's cough syrup. The brewers managed to make several negatives into a positive. The cherry, coffee, and chocolate flavors are excellently balanced. No one is overpowering and the combo actually tastes good. The bourbon-barrel flavor kicks in at the right time to make this a multifaceted beverage that is satisfying on its own. It's very dark and very flavorful. I like it a lot. The high alcohol content is a bit much, so only one a night for me.

Dual/Duel Review: Sweet Baby Jesus! vs. For Pete's Sake!

Dual/Duel reviews are an online smackdown between two books, movies, games, podcasts, etc. etc. that I think are interesting to compare, contrast, and comment on. For a list of other dual/duel reviews, go here. 

One of the beers I bought for the most recent War of the Christmas Novelty Ales was Sweet Baby Jesus!, which certainly sounds like a Christmas-themed beverage. With a little research I discovered that the beer is not seasonal but a year-round offering from DuClaw Brewing. On the web site I saw another similar beer they offer called For Pete's Sake! Being Catholic, the two beers seem like a natural pairing since Saint Peter was the hand-picked successor of Jesus Christ. I doubt that's what the brewers had in mind but often artistic works have a meaning far beyond what the artists themselves imagine. On to the smack down!

Sweet Baby Jesus! by DuClaw Brewing

• From the bottle: "A classic, full-bodied, robust porter with a smooth, dry finish and just enough hops to balance aromas and flavors of roasted malt, chocolate, and peanut butter so rich that just one sip and you will...exclaim the name!"
• From me: The smell straight from the bottle is definitely chocolaty. The flavor is chocolaty too, with hints of peanut more than an overpowering peanut butter flavor (this is no peanut-butter-cup wine cooler). This is a very rich and satisfying porter. I enjoyed it and would drink it again.

For Pete's Sake! Imperial Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter by DuClaw Brewing

• From the bottle: "This full-bodied imperial porter is a mix of peanut butter and chocolate flavors, fruit esters, & coffee notes so heavenly, you'll exclaim a new name...for Pete's sake!"
• From me: This porter has a peanut butter smell and a strong coffee flavor. It's okay as a porter but the coffee flavor ruins it for me. I found myself looking for a snack to eat while drinking it to offset the flavor. I'm just not a coffee fan so this is not a winner for me.

Clearly, Sweet Baby Jesus! is the winner in this competition. Lay off the coffee, Saint Pete!