Book Review: Keep the Memories, Loose the Stuff by M. Paxton et al.

Keep the Memories, Loose the Stuff by Matt Paxton with Jordan Michael Smith

Matt Paxton fell into his career as a decluttering specialist when he had to deal with family homes that were full of a lot of stuff. Just sorting out who wanted what and what was valuable (and should be sold) and what was salvageable (and should be donated) and what was just plain junk (and should be thrown away) was an overwhelming task, especially when grieving the loss of a loved one. He got very good at the work and went professional, starting with clients in Richmond, Virginia, and working his way up to hosting a PBS series called Legacy List with Matt Paxton. Over time, he developed the concept of a "Legacy List," a set of items that have stories interwoven with them and are what the owner wants to pass on to family and friends. These are the things to keep from one's home (or someone else's home).

The book is a combination of how-to and self-help. He walks readers through the various stages of sorting, dealing with, and cleaning out all the stuff that accumulates over the years. He gives practical advice on where to take things after figuring out what the personal and economic values of various items are. He has a lot of good, actionable advice to pass on, along with a resource guide at the end of the book detailing what to do with most any item found in a home, from antiques to collections (jewelry, stamps, magazines, comic books, etc.) to paperwork. It's comprehensive and useful.

Paxton also focuses on the emotional side of downsizing or moving. He uses a lot of examples from his work and starts with his own difficult decisions when he was going to move from Virginia to Georgia. People have a sense of loss, especially if the home to be sorted was owned by a deceased relative. Paxton got people to tell the stories of various items or rooms in the house as a way to build trust and to help the person let go (or realize what is really important). He goes back often to the difference between sentimental value and market value. Often something important to a person, something that has a lot of memories attached, is valued more highly than a stranger would value it. Telling the stories helps to clarify the real value and whether something is worth keeping. It also helps with the grieving process.

The book is interesting and helpful. The stories are entertaining and provide drama and practical examples of Paxton's advice. 

Recommended for anyone wanting to downsize for a move or a decluttering project. We could all use less stuff in our lives.

Sample Quote:

Ultimately, that's what my work is about--leaving the past behind in an emotionally satisfying way to step boldly into the future. People tend to tell me the items they want to bring with them in a move--or talk about agonizing over what to bring--instead of telling me the life they want to live where they are going. But you live your best life when you understand that what really matters is not possessions but memories. [p. 121]